Helping Your Children Overcome Sibling Jealousy
Helping Your Children Overcome Sibling Jealousy
Sibling jealousy is something almost every parent will come across at some stage. Whether it’s a toddler adjusting to a new baby in the family, or two siblings close in age competing for your attention, those feelings of rivalry can ripple through daily life - sometimes even showing up in sleep struggles, tantrums, or clinginess.
The good news? Jealousy between siblings is both normal and manageable. With a little awareness and some simple shifts in your daily rhythm, you can help your children feel more secure, connected, and harmonious with one another.
Why sibling jealousy happens
Jealousy is a natural human response - it’s your child’s way of saying, “I need to know I still matter to you.” According to child development research, children’s emotional security is strengthened not by the amount of attention they get, but by the quality of it. That’s why short, intentional bursts of connection can be just as powerful as longer stretches of time.
For toddlers and young children especially, big transitions - like the arrival of a new baby - can feel difficult for them. For school-aged kids, jealousy often comes from a sense of competition: “Who gets the most of mum or dad?” Knowing this helps us respond with empathy rather than frustration.
Strategy 1: One-on-one time
If I could give you just one tool, it would be this: dedicated one-on-one time every single day.
It doesn’t need to be long - 10 to 15 minutes of full presence makes a world of difference. Research on parent-child attachment shows that even short, consistent moments of undivided attention build security, reduce rivalry, and support emotional regulation.
Try weaving this into your natural routine:
A few minutes of play with your toddler while the baby naps.
A chat with your school-aged child at bedtime, when worries and stories tend to spill out.
Reading a favourite book together - without interruptions.
At bedtime especially, children often open up. They may share worries, recount their day, or simply enjoy your undivided attention. This not only eases jealousy, it helps children settle more calmly into sleep.
Strategy 2: Shared activities that bond
Sibling rivalry softens when children see each other as allies, not competitors. Think about activities they can enjoy together - ones that are age-appropriate and cooperative, rather than competitive.
For little ones, this might be building blocks side by side, baking with you, or a simple game. For older siblings, maybe a puzzle, craft project, or even a joint “helper” role with a baby sibling. Shared experiences create positive memories that balance out the trickier moments.
A gentle reminder for parents
It’s easy to feel stretched thin when you’re pulled in multiple directions, especially at bedtime or during busy parts of the day. If you’re parenting solo in the evenings or all the time, know that it is possible to carve out moments of connection. Sometimes that looks like asking one child to wait just a few minutes while you focus on the other - or creating little rituals that each child knows will be “theirs.”
And remember, perfection isn’t the goal. What matters is that your children feel seen and valued. When they do, the intensity of sibling jealousy naturally eases.
And remember, perfection isn’t the goal. What matters is that your children feel seen and valued. When they do, the intensity of sibling jealousy naturally eases.
✨ Ready to transform your family’s sleep? Get started today with a free sleep assessment. It’s a simple first step toward calmer nights and more harmony at home.
