If you’ve ever been woken in the night by your little one crying, thrashing, or looking “awake but not awake,” you’re definitely not alone. Many parents I speak to describe these unsettling moments, when their child seems distressed, but comforting them only makes things worse.

You might find yourself wondering: Is this a nightmare? A night terror? Or something else entirely?

Recently, I ran a poll asking how many parents believe their little one may be experiencing confusional arousals or night terrors, and many of you said you weren’t quite sure which it might be. Let’s unpack this together, so you can understand what’s happening, what to do in the moment, and how to prevent it from happening so often.

What Are Parasomnias?

The term parasomnia comes from para (meaning “alongside”) and somnus (Latin for “sleep”). Essentially, it describes behaviours that occur alongside sleep - things that happen while the body is still asleep but parts of the brain are partially awake.

These behaviours can include:

• Sleep talking

• Sleep walking

• Confusional arousals

• Night terrors (sleep terrors)
  

They can look alarming, but parasomnias are actually quite common in children, especially in the toddler and preschool years, and usually harmless.

Night Terrors: What They Are and What They’re Not

Night terrors are often confused with nightmares, but they’re not the same thing. A nightmare happens during REM sleep (the dream stage), and your child can usually wake up, recall the dream, and seek comfort.

A night terror, however, occurs during non-REM deep sleep, typically in the first half of the night. During this time, your child’s body is in a deep sleep but parts of their brain “wake up,” creating a strange, in-between state.

What you might see:

• Sudden screaming or crying out

• Flushed face, sweating, rapid breathing

• Agitation or thrashing around

• Eyes open but “glazed” or unresponsive

• Sometimes jumping out of bed or running around

• No memory of the episode the next day
  

Attempts to comfort them usually don’t work, and that’s normal. Your child isn’t truly awake, so trying to wake or soothe them can actually make the episode last longer.

Night terrors are often hereditary, so if you or your partner experienced them as children, your little one may be more likely to as well.

Confusional Arousals: The Milder Cousin of Night Terrors

Confusional arousals are similar but generally less intense. They’re most common in children under five, often appearing in the first 2 to 4 hours of sleep.

What they can look like:

• Your child may sit up, mumble, or cry softly

• They might say phrases like “no” or “stop it”

• Their eyes may be open, but they seem to look through you

• Comforting or touching them can make them more agitated

• They usually stay in bed and settle back into sleep on their own

• They have no recollection in the morning
  

If you’ve ever thought your child looked “possessed” during one of these episodes, as many parents describe, you’re not imagining it! It’s simply that their body and mind are in two different states at once.

What Should You Do During an Episode?

When your child is experiencing a parasomnia episode, whether it’s a confusional arousal, night terror, or even sleepwalking - the best thing you can do is stay calm and keep them safe.

Here’s how to respond:

• Don’t try to wake them. This can be confusing and distressing for the child

• Monitor from a distance. If possible, observe quietly to ensure they’re safe.

• Guide, don’t startle. If they’re walking or moving, gently guide them back to bed without trying to engage or talk too much.

• Prioritise safety. Make sure their sleep environment is hazard-free (no sharp corners, stair gates closed, etc.).

• Wait it out. Most episodes pass within a few minutes.
  

You’ll likely find that in the morning, your child has no memory of the event - even though you may feel like you’ve lived through a horror movie scene!

Why Do Parasomnias Happen?

The most common triggers are overtiredness, illness, or stress - all of which disrupt the brain’s ability to move smoothly between sleep stages. Developmental leaps and inconsistent bedtimes can also make episodes more likely.

Some children are naturally more prone to parasomnias due to their sleep architecture or family history. But the good news is - they can often be reduced (or disappear entirely) with a few simple changes.

How to Help Prevent Them

You can’t always prevent parasomnias, but you can lower the likelihood by creating a calm, well-rested foundation for sleep:

• Prioritise rest. Ensure your child is getting enough total sleep in 24 hours - including naps if still age-appropriate.

• Avoid overtiredness. A bedtime that’s too late or inconsistent is one of the biggest triggers.

• Keep evenings calm. Avoid overstimulation in the hour before bed.

• Establish a consistent bedtime routine. Predictability helps signal to the brain that it’s safe to fully switch off.

• Monitor sleep quality during illness. Parasomnias can spike when little ones are unwell, teething, or recovering from disrupted sleep.

Most children grow out of parasomnias as their nervous system matures and sleep cycles become more stable, but it can feel unsettling while you’re in the thick of it.

When to Get Help

If your child’s episodes are frequent, intense, or affecting the whole family’s rest, it may be time to get tailored support. As a children’s sleep consultant, I help parents identify underlying causes, adjust routines, and restore calm confidence around bedtime - without stress or guesswork.

You Don’t Have to Figure It Out Alone

Sometimes, you just need to talk to someone who gets what sleepless nights really feel like.
If this resonates, don’t spend another night worrying or wondering what to try next.

Book your Complimentary Sleep Assessment Call today or chat with me on WhatsApp 077568490457 - I will listen, guide you, and help you take the next confident step towards peaceful, restorative sleep for your whole family.